Shame Avoidance

Defective, embarrassed, exposed, not good enough, unworthy, dirty, small, foolish, humiliated, inferior, weak, judged, guilty, unacceptable, flawed, secretly superior, afraid of being ordinary.

• “If people see the truth about me, they will reject me.”
• “There is something wrong with me.”
• “I am not enough.”
• “My flaws make me unlovable.”
• “If I admit this, I will be humiliated.”
• “I must hide my weakness to be accepted.”
• “If I am not the best, I am shameful.”
• “If I am not superior, I am nothing.”
• “I must stay above others so I do not feel beneath them.”

Admitting what feels humiliating, imperfect, weak, guilty, ordinary, inferior, secretly superior, or hidden without defending, collapsing, attacking, or disappearing.

Name the shame directly: "I feel ashamed that…" Then practice self-forgiveness without excusing the behavior.