Relationship Avoidance

Afraid of closeness, afraid of being hurt, afraid of being needed, afraid of being disappointed, exposed, unseen, rejected, smothered, controlled, not enough, replaceable, distrustful, fear of abandonment, fear of being harmed.

• “If I let someone get too close, they will hurt me.”
• “If I trust someone, they will eventually leave.”
• “If I am fully known, I will be rejected.”
• “Relationships are unsafe.”
• “Love always costs me myself.”
• “It is safer to stay distant.”
• “Not everyone is safe, so no one is safe.”

Staying emotionally present in a relationship when fear, disappointment, conflict, vulnerability, or the urge to withdraw appears. The hard-to-go place is realizing that not everyone is going to hurt you, abandon you, control you, or reject you.

Pause before pulling away. Ask, "Am I responding to this person, or am I responding to an old wound?"